


Bend the nightmare (You control it)

by gayraspberry



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Brotherly Love, Crying, Dreams and Nightmares, Families of Choice, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, IRL Fic, Late Night Conversations, Light Angst, Platonic Relationships, Suicidal Thoughts, Wilbur Soot and TommyInnit are Siblings, based on their personas but still ooc i think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 21:35:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29740206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gayraspberry/pseuds/gayraspberry
Summary: Tommy has a bad dream, but luckily his online big brother is there to reassure and comfort him.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s), Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Comments: 6
Kudos: 261





	Bend the nightmare (You control it)

**Author's Note:**

> TW - past suicidal thoughts, discussions of an imagined suicide attempt (nothing actually happens, dont worry! this is a mostly happy story)
> 
> the dream is based entirely on one i had last year lol..
> 
> please don't show this to ccs :) this is based on their personas/mc characters, in no way do i think this would actually happen between the real people. thanks!

Tommy had a weird dream last night. 

He usually didn’t remember his dreams by morning, so the fact that he had a clear memory of the exact events was already a bad sign. 

It wasn’t exactly a good or bad dream, but he didn’t wake up in a cold sweat, so it wasn’t that bad. He’s just been thinking about it all day, that’s all.

Well, now that Tommy thinks about his dream longer, the more and more upset he gets. He tries desperately to distract himself from it, but no matter what he does, he can’t seem to remove it from the back of his mind. Through the multiple worksheets of math he powers through, and the chill (well, as chill as Tommy can be) stream he forces himself to do, the stupid dream never goes away.

It’s extremely irritating. And now that he’s laying in bed again, trying to sleep, with no distractions, he’s almost in tears over it. His mind keeps going back to the what-ifs. What if he actually did that? What if the same exact events actually happened?

Around 2AM, he can’t handle it anymore. Tommy picks his phone back up, accepting that he’ll get little to no sleep. He scrolls through his Discord friends list briefly, debating on venting to someone, before deciding not to. It’s not really that big of a deal, he reasons.

He scrolls through his discord server for the better part of an hour. He loves his fans, more than he would like to admit. After seeing tons of fanart, and people thanking him for helping them, he’s already feeling extremely soft.

So maybe, when Wilbur DMs him a couple minutes later, he smiles impossibly wide. He clicks on the notification, happy as can be.

_‘What are you doing up gremlin it’s 3am’_ then, a few seconds later, _‘Isn’t it past your bedtime LOL’_

Tommy grins as he messages right back, _‘i’m a big man, everybody knows big men don’t need bedtimes. besides, shouldn’t you be resting your old man bones?’_

It’s easy to fall back into banter with Wilbur. It feels natural, familiar, and Tommy couldn’t ask for a better (big brother) friend.

Eventually, the older male starts to get worried. _‘Seriously man, you wanna talk about it? There’s gotta be a reason you’re up at this hour’_

Tommy curses under his breath. He doesn’t want to lie, but he doesn’t want to tell the truth either. He starts a message, stops, then starts again, but never actually sends anything. The blond leaves the half written lie there, fingers hovering over the keyboard for far too long.

After a minute or two of arguing with himself in his head, he deletes the lie and sends a simple _‘can i call you lol’_

Wilbur sends a short confirmation, and Tommy only hesitates a few seconds before starting the voice call, half hoping the other man will back out at the last second so he doesn’t have to talk about his feelings.

Instead, Wilbur picks up almost immediately. “Hey, man,” he starts, “Are you alright? I’m here to talk, if you want,” His voice has a tinge of concern in it, and Tommy almost feels bad for worrying him.

“Yeah, haha, I’m mostly alright,” It’s his last chance to back out, pretend this never happened, but, “I.. I kinda had a weird dream last night? And it’s been fucking with my brain,” He’s always had trouble lying to Wilbur, especially when it’s serious.

“Do you wanna talk about it? I mean, you don’t have to, I just kinda assumed that was why you called, but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable-”

Tommy cuts him off with a small laugh, “Yeah, I reckon I do wanna talk about it,” he stops again, suddenly feeling self conscious, “If- If that’s alright?”

“God, of course, that’s not even a question. It’ll always be alright with me, Toms.”

The blond lets out a short, stressed breath. He trusts Wilbur with his life, he really does, but he’s always found it hard to open up to people. If the man over the phone had sounded even an ounce less comforting, he probably would have denied anything being wrong at all. Maybe he should be proud of himself for getting this far, but that sounds kind of weird.

With a final breath, he starts speaking, “So, I don’t remember how, or why, but um.. But in the dream I had, I.. committed? I don’t want to actually say the word but, like, y’know, not alive..” Tommy trails off, painfully aware of the silence from the other end of the call, “And, and then my parents didn’t notice, or care, which I know wouldn’t actually happen but it was a little upsetting,” He.. actually hadn’t meant to mention that part, but he kept going, “Then um, then I realized I never said bye to anyone, and I would never get to, and you guys would be forced to find out some other way, or- or you would never find out at all and it would be my fault for just disappearing.”

Complete silence follows Tommy’s word vomit. He nervously checks the call, and finds Wilbur muted. Oh god, he must have fucked up really bad. 

He hurries to fix it, “But, but you know I would never do that, yeah? I haven’t thought about doing _that_ or wanted to do it in a couple years. I’m alright big man, it was just a stupid dream.”

More silence. Then, a quiet, “..You’ve wanted to kill yourself before?”

Tommy winces. “Not since I started streaming! Honestly, it was a long time ago, it’s not that big of a deal anymore.”

“How bad was it?”

“What?”

“How bad was it. Was it an offhand thing, or did you actually consider it.”

The blond winces again. Whether he meant it or not, the question hurt.

“Um, is it a normal thing? Like, when most people say they’re gonna kill themselves as a joke?”

“I.. I wouldn’t say it’s normal, but yes, a lot of people do joke like that. Why?”

“Is it also normal to have a- a plan? And a preferred way to do it? And, the means to do it within the immediate vicinity at all times? If that’s not normal, then it probably wasn’t an offhand thing,” Tommy doesn’t mean for his voice to turn slightly bitter towards the end, but it happens anyway.

Silence. A sniffle. 

“No, Toms, that’s not normal at all. I’m so, so sorry you had to deal with that, I wish I could give you a hug right now,” a breath that sounds suspiciously like a sob seeps through the line, “You don’t deserve that. You never deserve anything like that.”

Unbidden, tears start to form in Tommy’s eyes. He’s been trying so hard not to cry all day, but the tears quickly begin to fall without his permission.

Wilbur starts talking again, this time with a stronger voice, “I care. And Tubbo cares, Phil cares, Techno cares, and MotherInnit and FatherInnit care. The list goes on and on, Tommy. We care. You know what? I don’t think that dream will ever actually come true. Because- Because you’re strong, Tommy. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met. To deal with this on your own for so long, and to always stay positive, is more than I could ever do. You’re the best of us.”

The teen starts to full on sob now, tears falling rapidly and staining his face. 

The musician chokes on his own emotion, tears of his own still falling. “I love you so much, Tommy. You’re my best friend, my little brother, and you’re so important to me. I cherish every second I talk to you, and every second I see your face. When we met up last year, that was the happiest I have ever been. You really mean the entire world to me, Toms.”

If Tommy were more stable, he probably would have made fun of the older man for calling him ‘little brother,’ but right now the term only makes him feel warm. “I love you too, Wilby,” he replies in a wobbly voice, tears still falling.

The teen doesn’t know if only a minute or an hour passes, but he feels incredibly exhausted by the time he stops crying. He still sniffles and hiccups every minute or so, but he’s not sobbing anymore. The man on the other end of the phone is in a similar state, and it feels so, so comforting to know he’s not alone.

Wilbur starts to speak again, “If you ever, and I mean _ever,_ feel like that again, please come to me. Or someone else. It doesn’t matter who, but we’ll help you. So many people love you. Can you do that for me? Try asking for help more often?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I can do that,” he slurs, weighed down by sleep.

The blond hears a relieved sigh, “Okay, good. I’m really glad.”

Tommy smiles again. He’s so lucky to have Wilbur as his older brother. He’s so lucky to have so many other people that care about him. He feels warm, and loved, and incredibly happy.

It’s nearing 4AM by the time he starts to drift off, lulled into sleep by the sound of Wilbur breathing over the line. Briefly, Tommy worries about falling asleep on call, but the thought leaves his mind as soon as soft humming starts to emanate from the other end. 

That’s how Tommy falls asleep, confident that his big brother will keep him safe.

**Author's Note:**

> so, yes, i made a new account to post this. i'm not gonna say what my other account is, but i'm also not gonna make a huge effort to hide it. i post basically the same kinds of fics there, but i felt the need to make a whole new account for this one. most of my closest friends follow my other acc, which made my expectations for what i post extremely high. this new (kinda anon) acc gives me a fresh start so hopefully i'll be able to post more of what i write. anyways, i hope you enjoyed!


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